Matthew B.

Matthew B. has been involved with the criminal legal system since adolescence, and has always struggled to find his way out. Now recovering from addiction and working on a book, he is all too familiar with how a criminal record can create a cycle that is hard to break free from.

“When you take away everything from a person, and call it ‘corrections’, it’s not. The “corrections” programs aren’t there, they aren’t correcting anything. The people that go through the corrections system end up with nothing to lose. The only option they have is to sneak around to get ahead.”

Matthew’s record includes felony charges from when he was only 18 years old and was offered a plea bargain. Dealing with an addiction and scared of facing incarceration, he was offered a deal that included a treatment program, if he pled guilty to a felony. At the time, the immediate benefits outweighed the long-term consequences:

“You’re not told when you’re young, when you’re 18, how this will be used against you for the rest of your life. I was struggling with addiction, as many people with criminal records are, and I just made the impulsive decision, I just didn’t think it through.”

Now years later, Matthew has seen the long-term consequences of a record. He’s currently living in a recovery home with other men overcoming addiction, and has had difficulty finding another place to live. Places he would choose to live won’t rent to individuals with a record, and the options he does have are often unsafe or otherwise unlivable. 

Matthew tried forming his own recovery homes and was developing a culinary arts training program for formerly incarcerated men and women, but he struggled to find good partners. Now, he is working at a moving company to support himself, while also working on his first novel. He wants his book, titled “Tears and Psalms of an Outlaw”, to show that you can’t judge a book by its cover.

“Struggles and triumphs, that’s what my book is about. Now that I have some wisdom, I’m applying it any way that I can.”

Although he’s on the right track and looking forward to publishing his book, Matthew knows that his record will continue to be a barrier.

“I think I’m doing fine, but I am always walking on eggshells because it can come back to haunt me at any time. It’s like the system sees a mark on a person and keeps bringing them back. I’m working to better my life, but I can’t show people what I can do if they won’t listen to me or even see me because of my record.”

Expungement of his record would mean that Matthew can finally feel free to build his future, without the threat of his record getting in his way. It could mean a better home, away from a community that could pull him back into his past cycle. He’s ready to move on with his life, and is waiting for the day the system is ready to move on too.